This weeks missive comes to you during a post Christmas and New Year slump, which has really proved the old adage that ‘a woman’s work is never done’. The festive season came and went, and I carried on working. We’re a week and a bit into January now and I’m already at peak tiredness with no sign of a break forthcoming.

We all of us know, whether we’re freelancers or not, that our work life balance is so important. Not just for our physical wellbeing, but for our mental health too. If you’re tired out from constant work and domestic shenanagins then you’re never ever going to be performing at top level, no matter how much effort you put in.

Last year, as an early 40th birthday present, me and Himself got tickets to see the absolutely sublime Hannah Gadbsy at the Palace Theatre in Manchester during the sell out run of her latest show, ‘Douglas’. Hannah is a huge inspiration to me. Rarely have I come across anyone in life who speaks to me in the way she has done. Like Hannah, I am a late diagnosed autistic woman, and so many of the thoughts and feeling she expresses in her work resonate with me strongly.

One point she did make and one that will probably resonate with many women from all walks of life, was just how much free emotional labour we give every single day, without realising it. As well as the work we must do to earn money, pay bills and keep a roof over our heads, we must also take care of the emotional needs of everyone we live with, other family members and lastly, ourselves.

How many of us do just that? I can’t speak for everyone, but from my own experience I can say I rarely do – and when I DO do it, it’s usually because I have reached a stage at which I am simply too burned out to try anymore and my body says ‘enough’.

This isn’t going to turn into a man-bashing exercise, and nor is it meant to be seen as one (though to quote the great Jo Brand “I think men are fabulous…as a concept”), but often I do wonder what goes on in the minds of men as they see us going about our lives.

My husband (lovingly referred to as ‘Himself’) has a job that means his working days and shift patterns are all over the place, and often he’s away from home for periods of time. When he works, he really works. He puts in long hours, runs on very little sleep and often gets little time to eat. So when he is home or has days off, his downtime and rest is of course, super important.

However, his work is slightly seasonal, so from Christmas through to Spring, he might have very little to no work on at all. This puts added pressure on me to be the main breadwinner, and also to keep up with running the home. Over the festive break, his rest and recoup was important as he was tired out – but now we’re in January, no sign of any work and he’s still in staying up late, long lay-in mode. Meanwhile, I’m running round meeting myself coming back.

This year, things have got to change and last night, I tactfully brought the issue up over dinner. If there was no work available, he must get up earlier, with a purpose and do SOMETHING in the house every day, cleaning, domestics or preferably DIY. If he didn’t want to do that, then he must go into work and ASK THEM to find him something to do, to take the pressure off me as main breadwinner, chief cook and bottlewasher. Either way, he could not expect me to carry on as I was, and not react to it.

This morning…no change. Early days. At least I have spoken my mind. But…the worm is turning.